Lawless.

Gone were the methods I learned that I should stop a few inches away from the white painted line before the Stop sign.

“Malaysians don’t stop at Stop signs unless it’s a traffic light”

The stop signs here are placed at U-turns, and there isn’t a need to stop if you have the right of way on a straight road.

Someone’s lights were not on. I was tempted to alert them about it.

“Why are you looking back every time you change lanes; there’s a reason why you have side mirrors”

I rejoice at the difficulties of parking using a reverse camera.


Cranking up my seat, I already had regrets.

When I decided to buy a new car, there were very few things I needed in a car; a Bluetooth for wireless Spotify playlists, a decent horsepower, keyless system.

I was used to the Toyota Prius I had in the States, so I was more geared towards the techie side of a car rather than the potentiality of its engine.

When I drove it out for the first time, I noticed the absence of a middle compartment — a common location where I shoved all my personal things; hidden and at elbow’s reach.

What replaced it was 2 USB ports; no aux cord; and a HAND BRAKE. Maybe it’s a first world thing — I was accustomed to the third foot pedal, whether in my Prius or in my parents’ cars.

The seats used labor-intensive methods to move it about instead of the clickable version.

By now; I sound REALLY SPOILT. But you never realized what’s good till it’s gone — oh how I miss my Prius.

Don’t tell my new car about it.

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and it’s 11/1.

Maybe it’s because I’m no longer seeing a pile of snow outside the window that I felt that the year had not passed.

And yet I feel sort of relieved entering into the New Year. I’m starting to move out of “hibernation”, moving to another potential new chapter in life and wondering what’s more to come.

Was 2016 a difficult year for me? I guess it was a difficult year for everyone. You can see last year’s posts have been dreadful in different levels.

I wouldn’t say it was difficult; but it was tough in the sense that I had to persevere. Couldn’t quit on life even if I wanted to.

December has also been a strange month for me; this is where I usually had a romantic interest/fling/breakup towards Christmas time but none of that happened last year — not sure if it’s a sign of adulthood but am actually okay with it; so I guess I’m no longer that hopeless romantic anymore?

My good friends are getting married — and I’m happy for them. I felt like I’ve reached a point where I’m not pressured to be married – not pressured to find someone and stick to evaluating myself each day.

I’m sure I may have said the same things last year — but I can sense a better year for me this year — after all it’s the year of the Rooster — I’ve reached the second cycle of the zodiac calendar.

Yet another one bites the dust…

Growing up, I would like to think I inherited my dad’s frugality — only spending what was necessary or worthy of a long-term investment. I realized that hasn’t always been the case. I had begun to fall into the other end of the spectrum – a common attribute of my mom : impulsive spending.

Stores I try to stay away from:

  • Stationery stores
  • Book stores
  • Innisfree stores
  • Online fashion stores
  • Food stores (this is a no-brainer)

So when the annual Big Bad Wolf sale –apparently the world’s biggest book sale — happened, I knew that the books I buy would somehow get lost within the shelves, collecting dust, or just get lost from reading it at different places and are nowhere to be found.

and guess what.

I bought more books again! Oh the horror! 

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( a few of them are not like the others…)

I’m hoping to get better in completing my reading – I have only finished two books this year that wasn’t school/work-related. A lot of the books I’ve bought ended up in donation — part of me knows bringing it home would join the others in the dust. My literature friend is aiming for 40 books next year so I’m going to do my best to commit to at least 12 next year.

Also, I’ve been trying to hunt for great Kindle buys (a la free books) and just recently stumbled on “The 100 Greatest Novels of All Time” for free so I’m super stoked.

On another note, a UCL friend told me that she read the KJV version of the Bible as part of her literature reading for her degree. It wasn’t all too random though — a colleague of ours has a blind date set up by his aunt — and the girl was called Dorcas. Dorcas is a disciple in the New Testament but holds a very minor character, hence, the conversation.

On the other hand, I should commit to reading the Bible in a year…

I have also purged my Facebook so I could read more, among other reasons. In the times that I did deactivate it, I finished a book in three days and haven’t felt so accomplished since quitting pasta for a month.

Kind.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

– 1 Thessalonians 5:11-18

For the people I haven’t been nice to, I’m sorry. I apologize that I can be selfish, and I feel that any further action I take would make things worse, and for all you know, this is just an excuse for me to avoid the situation entirely. I can’t talk to you because I don’t know how to talk to you without thinking about the outcome. I am better where things are at now, and I hope you will still accept my greetings when I’ve gathered courage to converse again. It is really me, not you and I’m learning to not equate that the past is also the future.

For the people I wish I would hear more, I apologize for the actions or the words I have said that may have rattle our friendships. I realize those mistakes and try to make up for it but I’m probably not good at patching things.  In all retrospect, I forgive you for you have taught me not to expect anything in return. You have taught me that there is a karmic cycles: for the things I have taken for granted, other people would take it for granted as well. When I hear that kindness goes a long way, I wonder if it really means anything at all.

 

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welp.

WARNING: rant of emotions

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This time last year, I got a blog because I wanted to be a better mature person.

But in reality, I was depressed over the cutest guy I’ve ever met, which spurred me into creating this blog.

I honestly had no idea what this person had done to send me in such a spiral. Seeing him was like reliving my secondary school days when in seventh grade, where my friends and I would compete for the attention of a 10th grade sports captain.

Such was this guy; that blonde hair blue-eyed boy, jock popularity, second violinist, California surfer, debate coach, engineer, avid basketball player and could probably win in jeopardy… (I’m a total sapiosexual)

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I’ve stopped reading chick lit because I couldn’t comprehend the existence of a physical version of the boy-next-door –usually written for the hopeless romantic– but here he was, sitting in front of me, eating dinner together.

For all you know, his personality can be total trash but thanks to that, I had arrived here, writing again.

All these does sound really creepy, but hey — if you happen to meet this ideal attractive person– wouldn’t you have gone equally gaga as well? Cut me some slack.