Yesterday makes it one year since I’m back in Malaysia.
It took a trip to Sydney to kick some sense into my reality, that my home country isn’t too bad, there are things I should appreciate, like the traffic-free trip to KLIA as compared to the congested lanes to the Sydney airport.
The past one year was me battling with my perception vs others. There were two things that were recurring: I was home “for good” and I was fat.
The fact that I was not the “girl who succeeded in staying in US”, while my other peers did was something I wished I could have done better. I did have a job, yes, but I was not keen in being in the company I was working at, being bonded for three years on the H1B visa was more cons than pros. Although I’m sad to leave my second home and the “Harvest dorm”, I was prepared to make changes. I however, wish it didn’t mean leaving the entire country altogether.
Fast forward, so many things has happened since then. I got a new job, reconnected with my friends, getting used to the hip things in town, attended my best friend’s wedding, hosted a friend from US, travelled out of the country twice, and drove home drunk (the last part still doesn’t beat my YOLO hangover drive from Milwaukee to Madison on an expired license and insurance), eat kangaroo loin, ran a 6k, deal with parking problems and other things I attempt to fill my time. I’ve liked my time here better, but part of me still wishes I could be back in America some time soon.
The comments of me being fat, was a fact. I had been adding 7 pounds/year in the US. I walked way more there than Malaysia, but I also ate way more and didn’t like leaving leftovers. I would cook half a box of pasta for lunch and just down it all. I would eat two large bags of Lays potato chips while studying for my finals. I’ve always been a big eater, but I was now a binger.
Fast forward, I stop cooking pasta. I get in a few runs on the treadmill from time to time. Most of the clothes in my closet are unflattering. I ate less for dinner. The comments don’t change, but I’m working on it.